F3: Two Thousand and Eight

Happy new year, everyone. Here’s a fairly frivolous piece of F3 for you. Following the trend established by Gareth Jones and Neil Beynon, this piece is themed around the new year. Enjoy.



[Extract from the personal journal of science correspondent Martin Ford (freelance: Reuters)]

Friday, Day 396, 2008

It’s been a month since the year didn’t end.

The media dealt with this landmark erratically. Certainly we kept quiet about it –this sort of thing is best left to the editorials. There were some hesitant acknowledgements of the anniversary here and there. Plus the usual fearmongering from the gutter press, although even they toned it down a bit. All the same, quite a lot of outlets chose not to mention it at all. Not directly. There’s been some discussion on what we should call the thirteenth month of 2008. Undecimber is the most sober suggestion, but it’s not the most popular. Sounds too much like “un-December”.

There’s also a related debate about how this problem will affect the seasons. The early data seems to indicate that, somehow, in terms of climate the world is still experiencing December. The long December, that’s what they should call it. Maybe they will, once it finally ends.

Still, the data remains inconclusive. And at least arguing about nomenclature gives those brave enough to talk about this a subject. No one in the public eye wants to talk about the why or the how any more. Those questions are too big, too unknowable.

I’m afraid.

Admittedly there’s been talk in some channels about what caused this. None of the theories make any sense. But then, does the event itself even make any sense? What the hell can possibly get inside printers, computers, handwriting the world over and erase 2009? The year hasn’t begun, according to the reality around us. It’s only people that know any different.

I have my own theory.

We always thought new year’s eve was arbitrary. That the year began on an arbitrary day for an arbitrary reason. It didn’t even correspond up with seasonal shifts – the beginning of spring might have made sense. But it just seemed so… irrational. But maybe it wasn’t. Perhaps Gregory XIII knew more than he was letting on. Maybe the new year hasn’t begun until everyone acknowledges that it has.

Madness. It sounds like insanity. But what other response can there be to an insane world?

[Posted to Wikileaks, Day 1,033. No additional entries recorded post-Standard Year, Pre-396.]

5 Responses to “F3: Two Thousand and Eight”
  1. Enjoyed that. Similar idea to mine but totaly different treatment.

  2. Neil says:

    Made me smile. The repetition of Christmas specials on TV could certainly lead to this conclusion.

  3. Shaun CG says:

    Thanks chaps. This was very much inspired by your stories! :)

  4. Rachel says:

    I like it. It is awesomecakes. :D

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