F3: Bitterness the Star

December 19th, 2008 § 10

Howdy, readers. It’s been a while. I hope you enjoy this.

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BITTERNESS THE STAR

We danced, without form and void, across the nebula-marbled surface of the cosmos. For a thousand eternities we moved as one, united by grace and love and power. The universe was ours, always and, it seemed, forever.

Ours were the asteroids, the comets, the debris of violence and birth. Ours were the planets, the children of the stars. Ours too were the stars, their constellations, the galaxies they called home. Ours was infinity. Ours was energy, and matter, and nothingness.

The universe was a playground and together we played.

And, fast as our perfect union had begun, it began to fracture. Time seemed to slow; civilizations no longer died in the blink of a universal eye. My partner grew distant, detached. For the first time there were secrets. At last there were boundaries.

I murdered suns for you, I whispered, my words not spoken directly into my partner’s psyche as they once were, but transmitted to its nearby form via an array of oscillating neutrinos. Once the message was communicated, the subatomic particles passed on and away into space. Lost, once heard, forever.

I gave life to a trillion species, I continued. I brought extinction to a million more. I made demi-gods of a thousand mad prophets. I made heroes of ten thousand cowards. I made monsters of ten thousand more.

And my partner was silent, swirling, nebulous, unknowable.

I reached out in a rage, crushing a newborn star into the undeath of a black hole and flinging it toward the core of a nearby galaxy. In the millions of years that passed before we next spoke, it ate out the centre of that great spiral, a dark cancer at its heart.

Did it mean nothing? I raged. Speak with me! Let me in! Let us be one!

LET US BE TWO.

The words tore through me, cutting and cold. My fury sputtered and died. My words fell away, half-formed ideas tumbling through vacuum.

Let us be two, my partner said. It was not you that gave me those things. It was we who shared them. And now that we have experienced everything together, I will experience something alone.

And then my partner was gone, slipping through a fold in time and space, leaving me at last alone. Forever, alone among the stars.

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