F3: Turning Point

I’ve missed the last few Friday Flash Fictions, which I genuinely regret. It’s been a tough few weeks and, in all honesty, this trend is unlikely to let up any time soon. Still, I’ll try and manage at least this one post per week!

This week’s story is short and bittersweet. It’s also me trying to imitate one of my fellow F3 writers – there’s a fabulous prize to the first correct guess who*.



Sara takes a deep breath before the first step. Jules is sat just over yonder, lounging on the bonnet of his car. It’s a beaten-up 1969 Chevrolet Camero in yellow and around it the street festival is in full swing. The car’s windows reflect the fireworks overhead, as do Jules’ shades when he turns his head Sara’s way.

‘Babe,’ he says, and grins. He crooks the glasses up his nose, his finger heavy with silver rings. ‘Come sit with me. Enjoy the sights.’

His head tracks to one side slightly. Though his eyes are hidden it’s obvious he’s staring at the blonde piece of ass walking to Sara’s left. Sara doesn’t care about this.

‘No,’ she says. Now she’s standing just in front of his car. ‘It’s over, Jules. You’re out of my life.’

‘What?’ he asks. He grins inappropriately, disbelievingly. ‘Why?’

Sara has already turned away and is walking into the crowds. She doesn’t trust herself in conversation with Jules right now, knowing her tears or forgiveness would come before his contrition.

‘I love you,’ she hears him say to her back. His voice is plaintive and easily ignored.


* = The prize is a hug. Next time I see you? You win a hug.

13 Responses to “F3: Turning Point”
  1. Paul Raven says:

    You are Gareth L Powell and I claim my hug! :)

  2. Shaun CG says:

    You are quite correct. The Crushinator will be round soon!

  3. GLP says:

    Whoah. Shaun, you just gave me a weird bout of vertigo… made me laugh too (in a good way)… it was like reading something I had written in a parallel universe… Good job!

  4. Neil says:

    Works well. The style is spot on.

  5. GLP says:

    By dawn, she’s in the arms of a Brasilian telemarketer from Teddington. They lie together on the mattress in his studio apartment, the open window allowing the deep bass of the street festival to ebb and flow over them, the mingled smells of hash and fried onions to galvanise their empty stomachs.

    “I feel kind of bad about Jules,” she says.

    Alejandro rubs a sleepy palm over his face. His hair is flattened on one side, damp with sweat. He reaches out to her and takes her hand. He strokes her knuckes with his thumb.

    “You don’t have to worry about him any more,” he says.

  6. Justin says:

    “You don’t have to worry about him any more,” he says.

    Why? Did Alejandro kill him?

  7. GLP says:

    I don’t know, Justin. You write the next scene.

  8. Justin says:

    But although Sara knows he’s right, she can’t quite stop herself searching for the moment where it all went wrong. As the carnival beats mingle with the rise and fall of Alejandro’s chest, she feels herself drifting into the cotton wool haze of semi-consciousness.

    She wakes to the all-pervading shudder of thunder. The night air hangs heavy, her clothes smell of a melange of gunpowder and tequila, and Alejandro is gone. Shedding last night’s skirt, she eyes the tangled bedding and contemplates its owners absence. Then, she pauses. Placed carefully on the pillow; an envelope, with her name scrawled in lazy loops of navy.

    Her skirt lying, forgotten, on the floor, Sara paces over to the desk. Weighing the envelope in her hands, she pauses. It feels light; fragile. Carefully, she rips across the top, and unfolds the sheet of thin manilla contained within.

    ((Right, that’s me done. Who’s next? Shaun? Why don’t you wrap up?))

  9. GLP says:

    Heh. Nice one.

  10. GLP says:

    And of course, the 1969 Chevrolet Camaro WAS available in yellow, with a special 302 cubic inch V8, dual exhausts, beefed up steering and suspension, power disc brakes, and a four-speed manual transmission.

  11. Shaun CG says:

    This is fantastic guys – really good fun! I think I might continue this on Friday, after I’ve had a chance to give it a bit of thought.

Check out what others are saying...
  1. […] F3 for this sunny and glorious week is a continuation of Turning Point, following on from Gareth and Justin’s additions in the comments thread. Last time around I […]

  2. […] you missed the comments thread over the weekend, have another look at F3: Turning Point: Justin and Gareth have continued from where I left off. (Is it possible for a writer to imitate […]